Dear Gerard, it's Luis. How are you?
I've heard El Bernabeu is preparing a few whistles for you this Saturday... I thought it a lot before writing this letter. For me it's delicate. I still have nightmares about what happen with me at Camp Nou, with pig's heads flying over my head. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I don't recommend it to anyone. However, I want to tell you a few things that may help you.
First of all, your image is important. You should behave like if the whisles don't affect you. I didn't do it because the first thing I did when I walked on the grass was put my fingers in the ears. Mistake. That was an own goal. I showed some weakness. Just try to keep cool, don't fail your first passes and show some serenity. Ignorance is the best weapon.
Don't go close to the stands. It's the worst thing that can happen. To feel the breath of thousands of people shouting at you and your family. Listen to insults and offences. Someone even may try to throw something at you.. That day at Camp Nou someone threw a whisky bottle... Just keep far from the stands and focus in the match.
What if you score a goal? Well, I can't help you a lot in that. I never scored at Camp Nou in the 5 times I went there as a Real Madrid player. The first year Puyol made my life impossible. What a marking. In the second year I couldn't play due to injury. And I lived the 3-0 defeat with goals from Eto'o and Ronaldinho... I imagined the way to celebrate a goal. Have you?
And just to finish, think in why the fans have that behaviour with you. You are a trouble maker, they say. Have you done anything wrong? A promise you never kept? No, right? Then have peace of mind. You ahve always been faithful to your ideas. You have always defended your club and country. Never changed. I don't get the whistles...
[This article is 100% fictitious...]